My heart is in Tibet Highland (Xue Wei)
Twenty years ago, when Dalai Lama met with Chinese pro-democracy movement activists in Washington, an old Chinese gentleman suddenly cried and knelt down to him for confessing his sin because he couldn!!!t stop his own people from killing Tibetans. Today, I am grieving over the over a hundred Tibetans for their self-immolation. They were suffering immense pain from the flames while fighting for equality and freedom, but the 13 hundred million Chinese people chose to ignore this for so long. I!!!m so humiliated by our great nation of Chinese.
Seventeen years ago, invited by Tibetan government in exile, I visited Dharamsala and had an extensive conversation with Dalai Lama and the officials of the Tibetan government in exile.
I was deeply moved by the Tibetan people for their tragic sacrifice for preserving their ethnicity, religion, belief and culture. So many Tibetans suffered from the pain of separation from their children by sending them to the Tibetan government in exile to get education, while they themselves came back to Tibet to live in suffering. Some young Tibetans who got their education in Europe and North American came to Dharamsala to serve the Tibetans. They gave up their western lifestyle and chose to live in poverty. The most discussed topic was how the new democratized Chinese government will solve the problem of Tibet. My answer was that the Tibet problem did not exist in China, neither did the Taiwan problem. The only problem in China is the CCP. Once the Chinese communist government collapses, all problems will be solved by themselves over time.
The democratization of China comes with pain. The mind of the Chinese people must suffer the baptism of pain. I myself have experienced a painful journey of suffering.
I used to be a Chinese Chauvinist when I was a student: I wished someday China would become the top power in the world, which would bring the mankind into harmony. As time goes, especially the ten years wasted in the labour camp of the CCP, my dream of Great China was demolished. Struggling with death, hunger, fatigue and endless mental torture, I finally understood that when someone is still struggling for living, country means nothing to him. What is home country? Home country is the source of life, protection and rights. Wherever there is liberty, there is my home country.
The Communist Party of China always told people to ~devote themselves to the country~, to be ~a screw of the Communist Party~ and to sacrifice themselves without reservation. The truth of the past 50 years has penetrated their myth: the power, the benefited, the corrupted, and the depraved, all from the CCP authorities. They are so corrupted and people had to sacrifice for them, silently.
I was awakened by the rage of injustice and I eventually chose to leave this so-called home country. I have accepted the universal values such as freedom, democracy, and human rights. My philosophy has completely changed. I no longer worship the power of the government of a huge country. Only the welfare of the people is our goal and the foundation of judgement.
Today!!!s world is the world in which human rights are above sovereignty. But the human rights never can be obtained from begging. The Tibetan people are experiencing painstaking struggles and ordeals. Isn’t European Union a good example of the evolution from independence to unity? No matter unity or independence, it is does not make much difference in the long human history. No land is destined to belong to some country, and no territory is immutable. In the history of the world, some people strived for independence but some other people strived for unity, both for the well-being of the people. Only the people living on the land can determine their own destiny.
However, China, a great country with over 5,000 years of civilization, who always advocated love, faith, peace and always promoted moderation, equality and fraternity, couldn’t tolerate the independence of Tibet. China even tried to intimidate Taiwan during its democratization, all because of the dictatorship insisted by the party. This is such a shame on the Chinese people.
I remember a folk song full of the sadness of the Tibetans who lost freedom and their nostalgia for Dalai Lama:
Snow Mountain blocked my eyes
your face couldn!!!t be seen;
I have been calling your name,
but my voice you could never hear ......
My heart couldn!!!t be calmed down while recalling this sad song. My heart is flying to the snowy highland!